Power Is Neither Good nor Bad

I was talking with my client Aayra about how she, as a manager, could handle writing a warning to an insubordinate subordinate. I could tell from her body language that Aayra was uncomfortable writing anything highly critical about her employee and she was finally able to identify why. “Having power over someone can hurt them,” she insisted. I was pleased that she shared this sentiment because it would help her better understand her tendency to dance around correcting her subordinate and others in order to not hurt their feelings. Growing up Aayra had a domineering father and a submissive mother. No one dared challenge Dad because in their family it was his way or the highway. To Aayra, power meant bossing people around and being mean. Done on a regular basis, we call this pattern emotional abuse. Moreover, Aayra’s parents were immigrants to the U.S. from India and both had been...